My Review of The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride (1987)

Over the years, The Princess Bride has gained the unfair title of "chick flick", mainly due to the film's title. Despite this unfortunate characterization, it has also gained a large cult following and remains to this day one of the most popular and beloved fantasy films of all time. One should not be fooled by the film's title, because The Princess Bride has things to please both genders, and it is a universal movie that deserves to be loved by all. The film is, at its very essence, a fairytale, and it is a delightful fairytale. The film has action, it has sort of believable romance, it has extremely memorable characters, and most important of all, it has a good sense of humour which makes the trite story seem fresh and new.

PLOT ELEMENTS, BUT NO SPOILERS

Despite the fact that the film is a fairytale, it starts off in modern times with a sick boy (Fred Savage) having a story read to him by his grandfather. The boy is initially resistant to hear the story but he grows to enjoy it over the course of the film, as is made evident when we see him every once in a while clearly invested in the story. The story is about Buttercup (Robin Wright), a young woman raised on a farm who grows to fall in love with a farmhand named Wesley (Cary Elwes) who she had priorly mistreated. Every time she would demand something of him, he would only respond with "as you wish", the origin of one of the most popular lines from that movie. Wesley and Buttercup declare their love for one another, but Wesley does not have the money for marriage, so he goes off to find his fortune, planning to return.

Wesley's departure leaves Buttercup heartbroken, and this heartbreak is only exacerbated at news of Wesley's death at the hands of the Dread Pirate Roberts. We then fast forward to five years later where Buttercup has agreed to marry Prince Humperdinck (Chris Sarandon), a seemingly harmless but foppish royal. Sometime before the wedding, she is kidnapped on her daily horse ride by three traveling bandits: Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), the boss, Fezzik (Andre the Giant), the brawn, and Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin), arguably the most popular and well-known character to come out of the movie. Montoya is a Spanish fencing expert with a desire to kill the six-fingered man who killed his father and gave him the twin scars on his cheeks when he was just a boy. Outside the Buttercup/Wesley romance, it is Montoya that gives the film it's heart, and the character gives us one of the most memorable lines of all time. Even those who haven't seen this movie have heard the line "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die".

The bandits take Buttercup to the Cliffs of Insanity, where they intend to kill her. However, hot on their trail is a masked man simply known as the Man in Black, as well as Humperdinck and a group of soldiers. The masked man fights Montoya and knocks out Fezzik to get to where Vizzini is holding Buttercup. After he tricks Vizzini into giving up Buttercup, he reveals to her that he is the Dread Pirate Roberts. Buttercup responds by pushing him down a gorge and after he says "as you wish" in Wesley's characteristic fashion, she realizes that he is Wesley and throws herself down the gorge (which is weird, it wasn't particularly deep, she just could have walked down).

Wesley is taken away by Humperdinck and his sadistic vizier Count Rugen, who happens to have six fingers on his right hand. In the meantime, Buttercup prepares for her wedding to Humperdinck. It is revealed that Humperdinck is not as harmless as he seems, as he plans to murder Buttercup on their wedding night, framing the rival country of Guilder and thus being able to start a war, which is his true motive throughout the movie. We've seen the plot element of a woman being forced to marry a man she doesn't love, but this film does it a bit differently. Humperdinck is damned well aware that Buttercup doesn't love him, and he puts on a facade telling her that he will search for Westley (whom he had Count Rugen imprison and torture after the Cliffs of Insanity scene). He also tells Buttercup that she is free to go if Wesley is found, and even though the audience knows it is a blatant lie, it seems plenty sincere at the time.

The climax of the film takes place at the rushed wedding of Humperdinck and Buttercup, when Wesley, Fezzik, and Montoya storm the castle after a visit to Miracle Max (Billy Crystal, accompanied by Carol Kane as Valerie). What follows are some of the film's most memorable scenes, which I can't tell you for the sake of spoilers, but those who have seen the movie know what I'm talking about. This film has one of the most entertaining climaxes I have seen in any movie, and definitely one of my favourites. The pre-climax contains one of my favourite scenes with the scene-stealing Billy Crystal and Carol Kane, which contains some of the funniest lines.

The story, when one really thinks about it, really isn't that original, playing on very familiar tropes such as the damsel in distress, the climax being to stop a wedding, and the bland heroine forced to marry a man she doesn't love, as well as the classic revenge tale. These tropes were established in the adventure stories of old and they are still kind of used in movies today. Granted, I haven't read the book, so I have no idea how faithfully the film sticks to it, but The Princess Bride works the story well, and what saves it from being tired is its script. This film has an excellent script, and one of the greatest things about this film is that it has a sense of humour. It has dozens of memorable lines and some outright hilarious ones, most being spoken by either Andre the Giant, Cary Elwes, or Billy Crystal. Don't get me wrong, the others get some very funny lines as well, but it is mostly those three that get the humourous lines. Just to prove my point, I shall list a few.

"Your friend is mostly dead. There's a difference between mostly dead and all dead"

"Have fun storming the castle"

"You seem a decent fellow, I'd hate to kill you.", "You seem a decent fellow, I'd hate to die"

"Mawiage. Mawiage is what bwings us hewe today"

This film definitely has one of the best scripts which definitely makes up for a, well not necessarily weak, but familiar story. The comedy blends excellently with the action, which is reminiscent of the swashbuckler films of old. In fact, I was reading an interview with Robin Wright during some sort of reunion article with the cast of the film, and she likened Cary Elwes to a blond Zorro. Her description is not far off, as Elwes in his Man in Black costume (paper thin disguise as it is) is pretty much a dead ringer for Zorro (the older incarnation as well as the later Banderas incarnation, the only one I am familiar with). There is a lot of swordplay in the film as well, often accompanied with witty one-liners, which is all well-executed. One has basic expectations of an adventure film, one of which is that they keep things exciting, and this film definitely exceeds all expectations set by the genre, making for a fun and intelligent movie.

The film also rises on the strength of its excellent cast. The first I would like to talk about is Robin Wright as Buttercup in her first major film role. She is probably the least interesting character in the movie, but I suppose that's kind of what the scriptwriter and the author of the book meant to do. After Wesley leaves, Buttercup becomes pretty much an empty shell and remains so until her beloved returns. Even afterwards, she remains pretty useless during the battle scenes, but it is all intentional, as Buttercup is supposed to be a damsel in distress. This does not make her bad from a feminist standpoint, because she gets some really good insults at Humperdinck, pointing out his feelings of inadequacy towards Westley. Wright gives a pretty good performance. She's not my favourite actress on Earth (having not particularly liked her in Forrest Gump either) but she is perfectly serviceable here. She and Elwes also have excellent chemistry, making the romance in the film likeable and not annoying like many movie romances are nowadays. We genuinely want to see Wesley and Buttercup get together by the end, and that definitely speaks to the quality of the film.

The rest of the cast, however, is extraordinary, and it is them (as well as the screenwriter) that the film truly belongs to. Cary Elwes is excellent as Westley (not to mention absolutely smouldering), especially as his Man in Black persona, where he gets many of the funny quips this movie is known for. I never paid much attention to Elwes in the past, and he doesn't seem to do much now outside of the Saw movies, but he is a genuinely good actor and gives truly a performance for the ages here. The three bandits are played by Wallace Shawn, Andre the Giant, and Mandy Patinkin. Wallace Shawn is an awesome comic relief actor in general, and it is because of this movie that the word "inconcievable" will be forever associated with his name. He gives an excellent performance from the short amount of time he was in the movie, and his character actually has an air of menace about him as well as humour. Andre the Giant is great as well, and this film can remain a time capsule of his life, seeing as he died five years after this was made. Any death is tragic and this one was no exception, but at least we have this film to remember. He got many of the great lines and his sheer brute strength was often the source for many jokes, especially since Cary Elwes beats him in battle.

The last of the bandits is Inigo Montoya, played by Mandy Patinkin. Montoya is easily the most well-known character from the movie, mostly because of the line I mentioned earlier, but also because he is a genuinely interesting and sympathetic character. What made Patinkin's performance more convincing was that he drew from his own father's death, talking to Christopher Guest like he was the cancer that killed his real father. Now if that can't convince and make a character sympathetic, I don't know what will. Despite his other work (including Jason Gideon on Criminal Minds), Patinkin will probably be best known for this movie for the rest of his career. Sarandon and Guest give brilliant performances as the film's villains, and of course, there is the amazing Billy Crystal and Carol Kane as Max and Valerie, getting a good number of the humorous lines and playing extremely well off of eachother. They round off an excellent ensemble cast full of memorable performances.

All in all, one need not be fooled by the title of The Princess Bride, because the story has a sort of universality that transcends gender and age. I remember having seen this film before tonight, but now that I've seen it in full, I can say that it is one of my favourite movies, as well as one of the best and most intelligent fantasy/adventure movies of all time, reworking tired tropes to its advantage. Filled to the brim with great comedy, excellent adventure, lush scenery, likeable romance, and of course, extremely memorable characters, The Princess Bride is an instant classic and one of the cornerstone films of the 1980's (similar to E.T.). The film is also the best film of Rob Reiner by far, and just an awesome movie altogether. Those who haven't seen it should definitely see it as soon as possible, as it is essential viewing. In fact, I'm glad I own this movie now, so I can watch it countless times because quite frankly, the film deserves it.

9.5/10-  Must-See

DAMN

My Review of E.T.

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (1982)



I can't believe that it has taken me this long to see this film, judging by its reputation and the fact that it was Steven Spielberg's most financially successful film for eleven years until Jurassic Park came along. It also remains one of his most beloved films even to this day and after seeing the film, it's not that hard to guess why. E.T. is one of the cornerstone movies of the 1980's, like Jurassic Park was for the 90's, and although it has many of the similar logic flaws that Jurassic Park had, it is still an inherently likeable movie and a thoroughly entertaining one at that. It is also a genuinely moving story, although flawed, and it has some extreme awe-inducing moments alongside awesome special effects and one of John Williams' best scores. I will admit that the ending had me crying like a baby, crying tears of happiness.

The story of E.T. is a rather simple one. It is about a little boy named Elliot (Henry Thomas) who lives in California with his mother, older brother Michael (Robert McNaughton) and younger sister Gertie (a very young Drew Barrymore). Elliot is made fun of by Michael and his friends, and one day, when he is kicked out to wait for the pizza they ordered, he spots a strange light accompanied with several strange noises coming out of the garage. In one of the film's most iconic scenes, he throws a baseball to the strange thing in the garage and the thing tosses it back. Elliot tells his family but they don't believe him, so he leaves out a trail of Reese's Pieces for whatever the mysterious creature is to find.

This little creature turns out to be E.T., the titular extraterrestrial of the film. E.T. came to Earth with a bunch of other aliens to collect plant samples and after being chased by government agents, E.T. is stranded. Elliot takes the poor little alien in and tries to hide it from his mother to comedic effect. He does show the alien to Michael and Gertie, and together, they decide to protect it. This improves the characters of Michael and Gertie, turning Michael into more of a protector and less of a tormentor. It also turns Gertie from an annoying and sarcastic little sister into a downright adorable kid who grows to love the alien.

Elliot fakes sick from school one day to play with E.T, and over the course of the film, he and Elliot develop a psychic bond. While Elliot is at school, E.T. explores around the house and takes a couple of sips of beer, which causes Elliot to appear drunk at school. This is in my opinion the most stupid scene in an otherwise brilliant movie and it is the one thing that prevented me from giving the film a perfect score. The scene involves drunken Elliot freeing all of the frogs that were going to be dissected and general chaos, and it is monumentally idiotic. First of all, I didn't know they did dissections with live frogs in high schools, let alone grade schools. I mean, cutting open dead frogs is freaky enough for some let alone live ones. I could go on and on forever about how awful that scene is, but we'll talk about some more good stuff the movie has to offer.

After seeing a show on television, E.T. is inspired to make a telephone-like object out of a Speak-and-Spell toy to phone home and have his ship come back to get him. What follows through until the end of the movie is a string of iconic scenes. These scenes would include the Halloween scene where the kids dress E.T. up as a ghost to sneak him out of the house, the government agents catching up with E.T. and blocking off Elliot's house, and of course, the two separate scenes with the flying bicycles, one in the film's climax when Elliot, Michael, and his friends are trying to get E.T. to safety. The iconic image of Elliot and E.T. flying on the bicycle remains the logo of Spielberg's production company, and the image has graced most of the film's promotional material. It is still a striking moment watching this now, so much that I can't imagine what it would have been like seeing the film for the first time thirty years ago.

The story of E.T. is a simple one, and it doesn't need to be complex due to the nature of the film. It is a story that audiences have heard several times, the story of a boy and his pet (in this case, a boy and his alien). E.T. might be the crowning version of that story arc. The relationship between Elliot and E.T. is adorable as well as touching considering the character of Elliot, how he is a lonely little boy affected by the separation of his parents and how E.T. is his only friend. The character of Elliot (as well as that of Michael) represents a part of Spielberg himself, who was inspired to create E.T. out of an imaginary friend he created for himself during his parents' divorce. As kid actors go, Henry Thomas did a decent job, especially considering that E.T. was his first movie role.

The other kids are decently acted as well, and considering that it was this film that made Drew Barrymore famous, she did a great job as Elliot's little sister Gertie. She was also utterly adorable, which is sad considering the fact that she may have started drinking soon after this film. However, that's more Jade Barrymore's fault than Drew's. Regardless of Barrymore's stage mother and personal demons, she gave an excellent performance as Gertie. Robert McNaughton played the part of Michael brilliantly. I personally find Michael the most interesting human character in the film, as he transforms into the stock big brother who picks on his little brother into the protector of his younger siblings and the guardian of E.T, even enlisting his friends to help get E.T. to safety. The character is also influenced by Spielberg himself, like how he made fun of his younger sisters but later became their protector after their dad left. McNaughton didn't go on to do much after this film, which is a shame, because he was pretty good. Dee Wallace did an okay job as the kids' mother, but her character wasn't that deep outside mentions of the separation from her husband. She wasn't bad, but the kids were much better.

Now, we'll move on to the star of the show, the extra-terrestrial himself, E.T. This little alien has to be one of the ugliest and yet most adorable creatures I have ever seen, and the design of E.T. is one of the most interesting character designs that I have seen in any alien movie. I saw the 2002 edition with the refurbished effects and the CG walkie-talkies, but I have seen pictures of the original E.T. and both instances of special effects are amazing. I know E.T. was quite revolutionary for being made in the 1980's, and it even won the Oscar for special effects the year it came out. In fact, it was nominated for several Oscars including Best Picture, winning four, but those it lost were often lost to Richard Attenborough's Gandhi (who would go on to work with Spielberg 11 years later in Jurassic Park). The rest of the visuals are rather basic, but there is some really cool cinematography, especially the shots in the forest. The script is pretty good as well, featuring some iconic and adorable lines. Some of the best scenes were with minimal dialogue though, like the ending (which I will talk about) and the scene with Elliot and E.T. traveling to the forest on a flying bike. Just goes to say that there are some events in movies where nothing needs to be said, and that sometimes, silence truly is golden.

SPOILERS BE PRESENT IN THIS NEXT PARAGRAPH

The last thing I'd like to mention is the ending, which is so happy and yet so sad that it had me bawling like a baby. You grow to care for Elliot and E.T. and seeing them depart is utterly heartbreaking, like seeing two friends that will never meet again say goodbye. The sad part of the ending was that Elliot was losing his only friend, but the good part is that E.T. can finally go home and he with his family. When E.T. points to Elliot and says he will always be in his heart, it pushed me over the edge and it was then where I started to cry. This is from someone who doesn't often cry at movies, so the fact that I did means something.

END OF SPOILERS

Spielberg has always been known as a grand sentimentalist, and E.T. is probably the grand example. Cynics be damned, I love this movie now that I've seen it in full, and it is a movie that I hope to see many times. E.T. is an instant classic and a cornerstone of many a childhood. It has one of John Williams' best scores, it has some awesome special effects, and it serves as both an entertaining sci-fi film and a touching story of both a boy and his alien and a little alien trying to get back home. It is definitely a must-see and it can definitely warm the hearts of many cynics. In short, all that haven't seen E.T. should see it as soon as possible, as it is definitely worth at least one viewing in one's lifetime. I definitely want to see more of Spielberg's works, hopefully with Jaws tomorrow. Even if I don't, I have to say that this has been a damn great Christmas vacation thus far.

9.5/10-  Must-See, Instant Classic 



The very definition of ugly-cute

My Review of A Christmas Story

A Christmas Story (1983)

NOTE: This is a rather short review mostly because I don't have too much to say about it. A Christmas Story is a rather simple movie and it doesn't need much loquacity to describe it.


A Christmas Story: so often this movie is regarded as a Christmas classic. I remember watching it as a child but I hadn't watched it in years, and now that I have seen it entirely, I can say that I love it. So I figured I might as well review it to celebrate the fact that I am done school for two weeks. A Christmas Story is a truly excellent movie that has earned its status as a classic. It is not only a great Christmas movie, it is a great movie in general, presenting audiences of many generations with a look at youth and nostalgia. Plus, it has loads of memorable moments that have been parodied to death, so even those who haven't seen the movie will definitely be familiar with some scenes (like the infamous "you'll shoot your eye out" and the tongue on the pole scene).


The plot of A Christmas Story is rather episodic in nature. It is about Ralphie (Peter Billingsley), a little boy living in Indiana in the late 40's/early 50's with his kind mother (Melinda Dillon), his profane father (Darren McGavin), and his little brother Randy, who hasn't eaten voluntarily in three years. Ralphie has one simple wish for Christmas: he wants a BB gun, but everybody says that he'll shoot his eye out. The film follows Ralphie in the days before Christmas with his dreams of getting the rifle, as well as dealing with some bullies, lead by the villainous Scutt Farkas, and watching his parents argue over a sexy lamp (one of the most famous plot elements from the movie).


There are also several vignettes, besides those bullies and the lamp, such as the bloodhounds that seem to take a sadistic pleasure in bugging Mr Parker, the fact that Ralphie's Aunt Clara seems to think he is a four-year-old girl, and Ralphie letting slip the "f dash-dash-dash word" while helping his father change a tire. We also go through the motions of Christmas such as picking a tree, making the turkey, and the whole sitting on Santa's lap thing (which I was never really into as a kid, and which Ralphie deals with some rather mean elves). The movie is about the mundane, but it manages to make the mundane magical. What makes this possible is the fact that the film is told in flashback, with voiceover narration from an older Ralphie (Jean Shepherd, who wrote the book upon which this is based). It is this narration that adds to the overall quality of the movie by giving the film the warm nostalgic tone that makes it so great.


Ralphie is a kid that we can all relate to in some way, and the kid that we will all look back on as adults. He's also a pretty funny kid too, and he gets some great one-liners in the movie's generally awesome script. But Ralphie isn't the only funny one, his parents get in some pretty hilarious moments, especially his father. The film is chock-full of memorable moments and scenes like the scene where Ralphie's friend sticks his tongue to a flagpole, and one of the most quotable lines of all time, the infamous "you'll shoot your eye out". The film is generally well-acted, with Shepard carrying most of the weight as Ralphie's voiceover. The actors playing the parents are awesome, and Peter Billingsley is pretty good for a kid actor. The film is also solid visually, with great sets that only add to the nostalgic tone that this film is trying to create.


In short, A Christmas Story is an excellent movie and a classic in every possible meaning of the word. Everyone should see it as soon as they can, especially because it is fit for an annual viewing around this time of year. It is solidly acted and well-written, and it has that warm nostalgic tone that we need in a cynical world like the one we live in. I feel that this is one of my weaker reviews, but I think it works with the style of the movie. A Christmas Story is simple, it doesn't need 10 paragraphs stuffed with big words to describe it. I grant this film must-see status, and I hope to make it an annual viewing tradition (that is, if I can ever find my DVD copy of it). Honestly, you don't have to listen to me, watch the movie for yourself and you'll find that it is much better than I have described it.


Lastly, I'd like to wish all the people who may read this a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a happy New Year.

10/10